No is a complete sentence

 This week I wanted to explore "NO". Often times we commit to things that we do not want to do and I want to give you permission to use the word "No" more often. No is a complete sentence and No is a boundary. It is ok to decline a request from someone and there is no need to feel guilty about it. Often we can do things that are people pleasing and that can lead to resentment and burnout if not careful. 

I want you to start considering your self when asked to do something. How much energy and capacity do you have at the moment and is it something that you actually want to do? You can slow down and listen to your gut , there is a soft whisper inside all of us that can answer for us if we tune in. When asked to do something - do you feel tension anywhere in your body- do you have a knot in your stomach or throat- do you think I better do this because I need to be helpful? It is also ok to let someone know you will get back to them, and then take time to tune in and think about it. 

There are times you may agree to something you do not want to do and that is ok. I want to challenge you to have that be occasional and not the norm. You can say no in a kind way. There is no reason to feel guilty for saying no. You also do not have to explain yourself to anyone when you do anything, including saying no to something. 

Here are some examples of ways to say no -

*I cannot commit to that right now.

*Not this time, thank you for thinking of me.

*I do not have time right now, maybe next time.

*I am not your person for this task.

*I would love to, but I cannot.

*Circle back to me in a few weeks.

*No thanks, I have another commitment. 

"Not right no

"I'm all good.

"I cannot make it" 

Always take time to consider what you want to do in a situation. It is not selfish to say no or to think of your needs first. I know for myself I always consider my time and energy before I commit to anything, I look at how much I have on my plate and how much bandwidth I have. It is a form of self care and so necessary. I also tell myself by saying no to this I am saying yes to something else and it is time for someone else to have the opportunity to shine. 

May you find the word "NO" in your vocabulary more often moving forward. 

Be well, Jen